Happy?

It is really hard to admit this, because I told everyone else that I wouldn't be happier being away from him.

I said I would loathe being alone.

I said that I needed to be with him.

While I DO hate being alone...

I don't NEED to be with him to be happy.

In fact, it is easier to be happy now that I am not getting in trouble for everything I do or don't do.

I still cry a lot. But that doesn't mean that overall I am not happy.

It just means that I want to overcome this and the feelings he created.

And I want to prove to him that another man will love me and want me. Sometimes I still doubt that.

Yes I am lonely and sad that this had to happen... that this all played out this way.

I'm sad that it still hurts.

But I am happy that I made it through with my wonderful family by my side.

I'm happy that it is getting easier...

It is hurting less.

Now....

If I could just get past this completely and find the man HE says I can never get.

Then I think things would be perfect!