Post Script

I thought I should be a little less vague in my debate about keeping the blog or not.

THIS place has been a release for me and I have started to feel better through the words I have written here. The sentences seem to flow from my finger tips when I turn on my computer to blog.

It is different than a journal because I feel like I am blogging with a purpose.

I decided to blog, rather than keep a journal, because I wanted to document my progress to the cyber world so others who are struggling can possibly find some help and comfort.

And I hoped that I would find that same help and comfort, both from MY words, as well the words of those who would hopefully comment on my blog.

I didn't want to include my name in the blog, because I haven't felt that this was about my identity.... My name has no importance to this blog or the struggles I have. I didn't want people to follow my blog because they knew who I was... rather, I wanted them to follow it because they knew what I was representing.

If I wanted a following of MY friends and family, this blog would have had my name in it somewhere.

ALSO, I have never wanted this blog to be a place where I come to talk about all of the things HE has done. This blog isn't about HIM, although a lot of what I am struggling with are directly related to him.

Lately, I have started to worry that the few people who read this blog aren't seeing this blog for what it is.

NOT a vent session on my life.

BUT a discussion (mostly with myself) about how to put one foot in front of the other and continue forward with me life.

I talk about the triumphs and the failures.

This blog isn't about anyone or anything other than ME and MY ups and downs of life.

I want to reiterate that.

I almost shut the blog down today because a person I have evaded to in a few of my posts confronted me about the posts... worried that they were being portrayed in a bad light.

I assured this person that the blog wasn't about them. AND that I was posting anonymously for a reason.

I don't post with my name. I have no links to this blog anywhere that is associated with me. AND I don't give out the link to this blog to people I know.

After this confrontation, I worried about the integrity of my blog.

Had it lost all anonymity? Here I thought I had kept it a secret, and this person had found out about it.

After much soul searching today, I realized that I need this forum in my life.

I need my anonymous friends and supporters.

I need my blank canvas and keyboard.

And I need the "Publish Post" button, so I can send these words out to the cyber world and hopefully touch a life.

Especially because each and every one of these words is touching MY life.

After a day of vacillating back and forth, I realized that I can't shut down such a medicinal part of my life.

So blog world, thank-you for accepting me and allowing me to leave my mark on the Internet.

Thank-you for allowing me to keep my anonymity.

AND thank-you for recognizing that this blog isn't about the things that have been done to me, or the hurts caused...

Rather, this blog is about how I have dealt with the pain and the struggles.

This blog is about ME: Just A Nobody.