Dear Unknown Number;

Please, either STOP CALLING ME or LEAVE ME A FREAKING MESSAGE. You ALWAYS call me when I am at work or asleep. I can't call you back because your number is UNKNOWN (duh).

It's driving me crazy.

The first time you called, it was weird, but not abnormal. "Wrong number," I thought to myself.

The second time I started to get a little suspicious.

BUT now that we're getting to the fifth or sixth missed "unknown number" call in a just a few weeks, I am thinking that your phone calls aren't random and are in fact planned.

STOP.

Or tell me who the heck you are and what you want.

Love,

Me.