Hello Again

I am sorry I haven't written in so long. I know I am a fail at blogging, but it isn't because I dislike this blog. I just don't have very much to say in such a public forum. When I started this blog I wanted it to be private because I didn't want people to know that I, SHIRREL, was struggling with things. I wanted a place to vent my frustrations, but I didn't want to allow people who knew me know of my struggles. It sounds crazy, but I wanted a private place to struggle.

Now that this place is only frequented by people who know it is my blog, I feel that I have to censor myself. I hate it. I hate that I have so many things going on inside of me that I can't use this blog as an outlet for. So I don't blog. I don't even really talk about things. I keep everything locked inside and I try my best to be happy all the time.

Especially on this blog. I hate that I sound like this emotional wreck in here. Especially because I am not an emotional wreck. I just have battle wounds that I talk about on here. I have so much to say, so many things I want to vocalize. But I can't because I don't want to be THAT girl. You know the one. The one who can't stop talking about herself and obsesses over everything.

AND because people who read this blog know me so well, they will undoubtedly know who I talk about, even if I refuse to mention names. I just don't want that. I don't want people asking me questions.

So there you have it. I am a loss for words so I don't write on this blog. And as much as I want/need/crave a place to vent and get feedback... I can't bring myself to open the door to my life. I don't know why.