I'm not talking about our own actions coloring our own impressions. While that is certainly important and something we should all consider in our interactions with others, it is not the direction my mind is wandering today.
I am talking about how MY actions color what OTHER people think. I know that this is life--what we say and do has always (and will always) have an impact on what others think. But sometimes I think people should not judge so quickly in observing the way other people behave.
I'm making it sound like I have done something heinous. I haven't. But that doesn't change the fact that I firmly believe if you could see into my head... see my thoughts.... my soul... you would think of me differently.
Oftentimes I dream of pulling someone inside of me. Letting them look at the scars and the still healing wounds. I want them to see life through the glasses I wear; try to make sense of the contradictions that I barely understand about my life. I just wish they understood.
It seems the many in this world are convinced that everything is black and white. It's either right or wrong, and that is all it can be. But heaven help me, there are colors swimming around in everything. And, like it or not, there are a billion different shades of grey.
Today my life is a splattering of these colors. And so many different greys it is disgusting. There are blacks and whites in there, too, but the way they are bleeding into the other colors shows how complicated I am.
I think that's the point. And I think that is why I am frustrated right now.
There is more to me than meets the eye. Spend a lifetime with me and I still don't think you will completely understand. I should not be "judged" (for lack of a better word) on what you see on the outside. Until you know me, the deep dark parts of me... Until you see the colors and greys, I don't think you have the right to tell me who I am and what I'm thinking.
You may think you know. You may have a thousand impressions of me. But they are just impressions. Nothing more. They are not who I am.
I don't want to sound ranty. I am not upset or even angry. I am just intrigued. Intrigued that this whole world is run by what people think about others--whether their thoughts are right or wrong. I may be alone in this, but that doesn't seem fair.
Life is an interesting bag of tricks, isn't it. The world is so diverse filled with all types of people. I know I am not perfect and have no right even pretending to be. But I can say one thing. I know that when I see another human being... another child of God... I am only seeing a small fraction of that person.
What right do I have to base my entire opinion of that person on that impression?
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